i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
