My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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