i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
