I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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