Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
