I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
