just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
