she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
