She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
