It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize