So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
