Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Farmville is her only friend.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
