you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
