erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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