dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
