She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
