Tell her she can't have a vagina
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
