Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
