Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
