Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize