There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she told me i tasted like america
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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