The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
