I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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