I am in a vortex of obligation.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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