nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
