We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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