Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
