oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
