Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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