we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize