He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
