I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
