Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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