Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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