and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
