I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
