I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
