it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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