You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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