just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
