Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Verdict: uncircumcised.
where are my eyebrows?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
