After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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