He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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