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i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i think my cat just said my name.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
