I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
