We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
