thus making me awesome and them whores
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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