Are we in a gay sports bar?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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