im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
