This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
