as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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