So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
vagina is talking i cant
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
This baby is an asshole
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
