can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Randomize
