is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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