His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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