So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
