Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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