youre lurking in front of me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
