im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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