I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize