seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
