You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
