this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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