I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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