Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
