Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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