Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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