so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
