sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
