two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
