i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
