I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize