Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
