i already hear my dad disowning me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
